WE ARE YOUR FEK

Lessons in How To Empty A Bar, Via YM:

youngmanhattanite:

There’s a bar in Williamsburg (that was, last I checked, tolerable, so I will not mention its name) that used to have the Suicide record on the jukebox. I played “Frankie Teardrop” every single time I was there. It’s exacting revenge for all the times I’ve been in a bar and someone’s played the “Best of Bob Marley” in its entirety. [That was directed at fek, for the record, and was not just some random misanthropic pronouncement.]

This trick only works when you play music that you - almost exclusively - enjoy and that you enjoy - almost exclusively - by yourself. This trick tends not to work when you play music that you don’t enjoy that you assume other people might not enjoy (for example: Linkin Park), when in fact, you’re at a bar where it only encourages them to stick around (for example: Cherry Tavern).

There is, however, one standardized jukebox you can play that will make everybody, at any time - no matter what song - hate you. It is at once both the best and worst jukebox in the universe, made avalible at several locations.