WE ARE YOUR FEK

ohrohin: When did this job devolve into receiving bitchy texts from publicists? Oh, yes, sir....

Sun, 22 Nov 2009 17:26:39 -0500

ohrohin:

When did this job devolve into receiving bitchy texts from publicists?

Oh, yes, sir. Welcome to the scrum.

My Favorite Gawker Item I've Ever Written Or Will Write, Ever

Sun, 22 Nov 2009 12:58:34 -0500

My Favorite Gawker Item I've Ever Written Or Will Write, Ever:

This is the best. The best. The comments on this thread will be fantastic.

Looks like this will be a more divisive issue than I'd initially assumed it to be.

Sat, 21 Nov 2009 21:54:31 -0500

F: i hope he doesn’t try to rape me
B: i hope he tries to rape me

Related.

The photoshop skillz strike again: Glenn Beck’s talking...

Sat, 21 Nov 2009 19:23:36 -0500

The photoshop skillz strike again:

Glenn Beck’s talking up some scary plan for 2010 lately. It’s scary because Glenn Beck is talking. And today, Glenn Beck unveiled his 100-year plot to fundamentally change America—and democracy—as we know it. Glenn Beck is fucking insane.

Oprah’s quitting and some of her celebrity friends like Ellen are sad. But oh, hey look, MORE...

Sat, 21 Nov 2009 12:14:00 -0500

Oprah’s quitting and some of her celebrity friends like Ellen are sad. But oh, hey look, MORE OF THESE GODDAMN SQUARES.

The sooner, the better, because this day will not end well.

Deleted Poetry = Shots Fired

Sat, 21 Nov 2009 01:45:00 -0500

Tell me about the dream where we pull the bodies out of the lake
and dress them in warm clothes again.

Okay, so it’s not exactly Richard Siken. But you know what? I may not have an MFA, but I fuckin’ tried! It by no means was bad enough to be deleted, Meaghan. Related:

It’s not like a tree where the roots have to end somewhere,
it’s more like a song on a policeman’s radio…

NICE.

Sat, 21 Nov 2009 00:53:00 -0500

meaghano:

guess who stole meaghans blog I am singing a fucking ace of bass song in my head hmm hmm hmmhmm hmm hmm hmmmm hmm hmm hmm hm hm hmm hmmm yeah that’s fucking right it’s “the sign” also get this THE REVOLUTION WILL NOT BE TUMBLD instead it will be transmitted via tin cans and string. We are not afraid of you and we will beat your ass. You may not have our lunch. You may not have our lunch. You may not…Jesus, fine. Hey look, it’s a bag of

Michael Barnett's Best Lines From Slim Pickings at BlackBook This Week:

Fri, 20 Nov 2009 18:40:14 -0500

michaelorell:

As a nation huddles amongst their families in their living rooms tonight, heads in their anxious hands, waiting for Walter Winchell or Ryan Seacrest’s twitter to notify us of the condition of recently hospitalized Nicole Richie, we take pause to reflect on the sobering fragility of … WAIT, WHAT? EGGO SHORTAGE?

You have the onslaught of increasingly subtle marketing that whispers sweet ads in your daily digest or finds its way into your subconscious through viral or guerilla marketing. And on the flipside you have what you saw when you got on this site more than likely. A GIANT AD that oh-where-the-fuck-is-that-close-button.

I mean we don’t like How I Met Your Mother and its lazy writing, but we dig us the Barney Stinson lines that our girl friends regurgitate to us when trying to convince us that the show isn’t the same from when we rented the Season 1 DVD and declared never to watch another episode

Not having to resort to the same payment system as Fat Joe, Pattinson adorably made it rain sharpie and smiles and your daughter took it off like she was in a Hot Topic dressing room.

Waffle enthusiasts now employ the same method for their vitriolic expressions of despondency as civil rights protesters in Iran.

This is a technology blog right?

READ THEM ALL HERE

See, Michael thinks we’re not reading, because he gets away with this shit. Oh. But we are. We most definitely are.

chrismohney: Yep, going to see it this weekend. Because I’m a...

Fri, 20 Nov 2009 18:36:08 -0500

chrismohney:

Yep, going to see it this weekend. Because I’m a good husband, that’s why.

Or a pussy.

Today, In Hysterically Bad Mixups

Fri, 20 Nov 2009 15:38:00 -0500

On Fri, Nov 20, 2009 at 3:27 PM, mo pitz wrote:

Do I have a picture of this guy?

————— Forwarded message —————

On Fri, Nov 20, 2009 at 3:22 PM, [Redacted], David <[david.redacted]@nypost.com> wrote:

Hi Mo This is Dave Boyle at the New York Post. We’d like to buy a picture of Vadim Ponorovsky you might have…could you reply or call me at 212 930 8505 thanks D

From: Foster Kamer
Date: Fri, Nov 20, 2009 at 3:34 PM
Subject: Re: Photo
To: mo pitz <[redacted]@nypost.com>

Hi David -

As hysterical as it would be for me to let the New York Post buy the picture that just went up on BlackBook of Vadim Ponorovsky, I have to confess an error on my part. I covered the party for Gawker, where I’m the Weekend Editor, and I work a day job as an assistant editor at BlackBook. I accidentally put up a picture for two minutes of National Book Award winner Colum McCann on the Ponorovsky post. I can assure you Mr. McCann could not have been kinder, and also, would’ve written a much, much better email than Vadim Ponorovsky ever could. Mo does not own any pictures of Mr. Ponorovsky, though she does have a great one of James Franco telling her to “fuckoff” that you guys are more than welcome to cough up for.

Best Regards,

Foster

I hope Alex and Choire have family cookbooks they pass down...

Fri, 20 Nov 2009 14:53:51 -0500

I hope Alex and Choire have family cookbooks they pass down through generations, in the old, matriarchal tradition. I also hope it’s called I WAS TOLD YOUR CAKE CAN GO FUCK ITSELF.

BRO. damn.

Fri, 20 Nov 2009 14:46:01 -0500

BRO. damn.

Book Deals I Can Get Behind: Regretsy

Fri, 20 Nov 2009 12:10:45 -0500

Founder: Outed.

Book Deal: Signed.

Nice:

Who is the veiled personality behind Regretsy.com, the funky crafting blog that trolls the online arts and crafts bazaar Etsy and lampoons the worst items with comments like, “[this] reminds me of the time I saw an $85 painting of a corndog and didn’t buy it.”

We’ll tell you who: April Winchell. That’s right, the minor Interwebs celeb, L.A.-radio writer/producer/director, ex-Groundling and animated voice talent.

Speakeasy profiled Regretsy last month, when Winchell was going by the name “Helen Killer” and the site was just a baby — or maybe a felt fetus dangling from a macramé bracelet. She talked about dolphins with erections and her brush with Etsy’s lawyers — but she wouldn’t tell us her name.

Until now. The reason? Winchell signed on with Random House this week to publish a printed-word version of Regretsy. “We’re not going to use everything from the Web site,” said Jill Schwartzman, the purchasing editor at Random House. “The ones we’re going to pick are the ones that work for a book-reading audience.”

baxterp2: Fall. Dig.

Fri, 20 Nov 2009 11:02:21 -0500

baxterp2:

Fall.

Dig.

One of a few of my favorite “outtake” pictures from...

Thu, 19 Nov 2009 22:17:54 -0500

One of a few of my favorite “outtake” pictures from the gallery. Colum McCann was NOT about to sign the secret book without a fight. I had to negotiate this with him for at least five minutes. This is me pulling lines from The Krucoff Playbook: “Goddamnit, National Book Award Winner Colum McCann, it’s for fucking charity. Just sign it already.”

It's the 2009 National Book Awards and These People Feel Fine

Thu, 19 Nov 2009 17:12:00 -0500

It's the 2009 National Book Awards and These People Feel Fine:

2009’s National Book Awards went down last night. In delightful twists of irony, they were a) sponsored by Google, b) held on Wall Street, and c) James Franco was there. So were Party Crash Photog Mo Pitz and I. BOOKS!

Did you know:

The lead singer of The National’s wife writes for The New Yorker? I bet you did not!
That Alex Balk rapes kittens? Maybe!
That Dave Eggers and James Franco are derived from the same cosmic bag of dicks? You probably could’ve guessed!
That - and this one’s for Cajun Boy - The Seymore Hersh of the Style Section Allen Salkin and I declared a truce for one night for a common goal? We did!
That not everyone with funky hair is related to Dave Eggers?
And do you know what it takes to get kicked out of the National Book Awards after party? And who did? You will now!

Come visit the wonderful gallery of wonderful things Mo and I made. Another awesome job by Ms. Mo Pitz, who, let the record show, is having a photo she took from our Vice gallery used in the New York Times! Yay Mo!

Ha. Whoops. The photoset is locked right now so I can edit out...

Thu, 19 Nov 2009 11:52:26 -0500

Ha. Whoops. The photoset is locked right now so I can edit out all the pictures of Toph Eggers and I smoking meth. Let’s try this again:

Pictured: Founding Gawker editor Elizabeth Spiers, with friend.

Things that are slow.

Thu, 19 Nov 2009 11:40:45 -0500

ninety9:

1. Slow things.
2. Turtles.
3. Fireworks CS4 text tools.

Come on, now. I have BlackBook work to do first. Priorities! But if this is what you’re asking for, fine:

Pictured: Founding Gawker editor Elizabeth Spiers, with friend.

(via ryanbrown)

Thu, 19 Nov 2009 10:47:03 -0500

(via ryanbrown)

Oh. It’s coming. Related: I’m so hungover, I...

Thu, 19 Nov 2009 10:38:44 -0500

Oh. It’s coming. Related: I’m so hungover, I can’t feel my face.